• Sara Torpey

Lessons from Last Week #1: Do You

Last week didn’t turn out to be the week that I had all planned out in my head on Monday morning.

Was it a bad week? Nope.

Now that I am reflecting and looking back on it a few days removed there was a lot of good to be had but just not as much good as I had hoped - or, really, more accurately, not good in exactly the way I had hoped.

Monday through Wednesday were a blur. I’m trying to connect with people in new ways in my business, and it’s taking me out of my comfort zone and forcing me to think hard about what I want to say and when. I spent a ton of time early in the week trying to work through that in my head, on paper, and online.

Thursday was the day last week that I had all my hopes pinned on. And that’s where (of course) it all didn’t go as planned.

I ended the day Thursday disappointed. I did get to the place I was expecting or planned to be. Which was not awesome.

But, still, on Friday, I picked myself up and got back to work. I managed to put 80% of my (perceived) defeat behind me and just carried a little bit of it around - which I thought was a win in and of itself. But by the second half of the day I had just had enough. I was tired, and my patience for being outside of my comfort zone was just all used up.

I decided to spend the last hour of my day on Friday seeing what was what in the groups I belong to online, checking in with friends and colleagues, and just being useful where I could. At the end of the hour, I closed it all up, went and picked up my kids, and went out for pizza (and ice cream, I mean, it’s Friday…).

When I came home, I checked my messages/notifications and had my big ah-ha for the week.

All week long I had been trying to connect, and it didn’t work the way I planned. And both of those things were a problem.

First, I was TRYING really hard. Way too hard. I was holding super tight to MY idea of what connecting should look like rather than just putting good out into the universe and letting it take its course. I was being me, mostly, but I was pressing and trying and clearly people could feel it.

Which connected to the other problem. I was trying to plan how OTHER people were going to respond and connect to what I was putting out. I think this is something we all do in some way or another - you do X action, you assume the other person will do Y in response. And then they don’t. And I got frustrated.

I was making assumptions about and trying to control what OTHER people were going do when in reality the only thing we can control are our own actions.

Friday night as I was reading through all the notifications and responses I just kept shaking my head. The lesson from last week is incredibly simple to say, but incredibly hard to do consistently, and here it is:

DO YOU. Then, let other people respond in the way that makes sense for them. Period.

That’s it. It’s okay to expect positive results from positive intentions. But it’s not okay to plan out exactly what those results should be in your head. That’s not how this works. You can prep for life, for your day, and for how you want your business to go. You can plan ahead and be prepared for meetings. But you can’t plan ahead for how people are going to respond. You can’t tie yourself and your hopes to what you can’t control.

This week my plan is to just be me. Really, truly me.

I’m good at what I do. I help others build businesses that actually work.

I am going to be prepared for my week, and to meet my goals, but not attached to what I feel like the responses of other people should be. I don’t control that.

All I can control is me. So I’m going to be the best version of me there is.

That’s MY plan for this week.

What’s yours?

If you are working to grow your business, turning whatever lessons you learned from last week into actions, and find yourself stuck, we should talk. You can book a one-on-one conversation about how we can work together here.

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